Common wisdom in VC says relationships are a long game, but we've all got a 60-second pitch. Here's what I've learned about relationship-building in an inherently transactional industry.
In business and in life, relationships are important to build the right way. Too often, networking feels transactional and impersonal. No small talk, no curiosity. Just straight into pitch mode.
I totally get it. As a new fund manager raising, I understand the urgency. But it still rubs me the wrong way. I genuinely like meeting people, getting to know them, and being helpful whether that’s investing, offering insight, or connecting them with others in my network.
I see this play out constantly at GP/LP events with family offices, FoFs, and other LPs. You spot the GP laser-focused on LP name tags, making a beeline to pitch. I empathize with both sides, being pitched to and trying to raise. But no matter how badly we want to speed it up, trust has its own timeline.
At the end of the day, everyone wants to feel seen and heard: founders, GPs, LPs alike. That’s why I always start with something personal and non-work related when I meet someone new. It lowers the stakes, softens the interaction, and often uncovers a real connection.
For example:
Last night, I was talking to someone from the exact kind of shop every VC is pitching. They mentioned living in Boston. I immediately lit up and asked where (my mom’s side of the family is from there). We went into the usual "so what do you do" and when it was my turn, I said I’m a GP at a new VC firm in NYC and shared a bit about our thesis. Tension hung in the air as, which I found out after the fact, they were waiting for the "ask" of either intros or capital.
When they gently mentioned that our fund might be too small for their VC allocation, I jumped in to clarify we’re targeting different types of LPs where the check sizes make more sense and that's not what this was about. I was genuinely curious about their work on secondaries and learning more about that segment of the market. That changed everything.
Their face lit up, posture relaxed, and the passion came through. We ended up talking for over 30 minutes, discussing the effects of secondaries on the alternative asset market. We exchanged contact info at the end. They said, “Let me know if there’s any way I can be helpful.” I offered the same.
Who knows what may happen in the future. But I walked away with two things I know for sure:
1️⃣ I learned a lot about the current state of the secondaries market from someone who's been deep in it for 5+ years.
2️⃣ I made a meaningful connection with a sharp, kind person I’d gladly reach out to again.
Relationships are a long game. But they’re also full of surprises because you never know what may happen or not happen down the road.
What I do know is that the more genuine you are when building relationships, the more likely things come full circle.
#DaringVentures #AuthenticNetworking #GP #LP