To know me... is to know my mom Today, I'd like to tell you about her, for the first time Meet Alda Tolentino Balaoing Picture a mischievous 14-year old girl Standing in front of her teacher and classmates Nothing in her hands. Just pure youthful confidence Reciting a speech she just wrote Why? Because she loved the dresses she'd get to wear on those special days She enjoyed learning. But not always being taught. Especially when the math teacher was her own mother So how did she get quickly transferred out of my grandma's class and the school where she taught? Just give the math test answers to your friends Smart. Defiant. Rebellious. My mom tested the rules at home and in school. She studied law in college with the dream of becoming an attorney in the Philippines And then along came me and my little sister Arlene. Holding a 2-year old boy and a newborn girl in her arms, my mom - with her own mom (remember the math teacher) and my dad - moved to the US to build a new life She needed a steady and stable job to raise 2 kids. She took the bus across Los Angeles to find work. Like my dad, she was hired by the most stable and steady employer at the time - the government The California Employment Development Department (EDD), to be precise. For over 25 years, my mom would help people who had lost their jobs or were unemployed and needed support If you met here, she'd be the first to remind you, "be sure to eat." Yet she'd be the last to actually take anything for herself. She'd want you to eat first... and eat well She never became a lawyer. She did something even better. She showed me how to live each day helping others feel seen, heard and fed My mom just died 25 hours ago. here at her home I love my mom Thank you for reading about her I would like to get to know you... and your mom Love, Michael
Wow, this was so beautiful, Michael. And she is so beautiful! What a special time...to be in the grief and loss of your mother - to feel the deep love and appreciation for her, the closeness of her life. I'm in the final care-taking days or years of my mom so I'm resonating. I'm reminded of this quote from Don DeLillo: "When my mother died I felt expanded, slowly, durably, over time. I felt suffered with her truth, spread through, as with water, color or light. I thought she'd entered the deepest place I could provide, the animating entity, the thing, if anything, that will survive my own last breath, and she makes me larger, she amplifies my sense of what it is to be human. She is part of me now, total and consoling. And it is not a sadness to acknowledge that she had to die before I could know her fully. It is only a statement of the power of what comes after." Sending you lots of love and comfort.
Oh Michael…I’m keeping you in my heart. What a beautiful tribute to an extraordinary woman. For me, and I am guessing for many others, your words brought to the front many memories of our own mothers. Before there was me, my mom was a labor union organizer alongside my dad. We certainly changed the lives of these strong women didn’t we? I feel that responsibility and I know you do, also. I think our moms would have gotten along very well…or maybe they are getting along very well? Who knows? This is a special time for you .. find peace and smiles in your memories my friend.
Michael, I'm so sorry to hear about the passing of your mother. She lived a meaningful and rewarding life, and I see a connection between your mother's efforts to help others feel seen and heard and your work to help others tell their stories. Thank you for sharing the story of her life with us. May her memory be a blessing to you and your entire family.
Michael, we don't know each other well but I appreciate you sharing your mom's story. As a Filipino immigrant, her story is the story of many women like her who were brave enough to imagine a new future for her family. Condolences to you and your family.
I’m so sorry for your loss. Losing a parent reshapes the heart in ways words never fully capture, but the way you speak about her shows just how deeply she shaped who you are.
Oh, Michael. I’m so sorry to hear it. You’ve talked about how instrumental you mom has been in forming your goals, views, and way of showing up in the world. And she got that job done right. She sounds wonderful and i hope you can find comfort in your memories.
Michael, my heart goes out to you on your loss, and I'm grateful that you shared this post about your Mom. I was smiling throughout as you painted a picture of her. I lost my Mom 25 years ago, and she is still with me to this day, guiding me in how I seek to live. I can see how she's guided you and inspired you.
Michael, I’m deeply moved by this story about your mother. Such care in each facet of her journey tells us as much about you, as the woman who shaped you into the kind, focused, loving person that you are. I’m so sorry for your loss but I know that she is and always will be with you.
Michael, I’m very sorry to hear about your mom. Marissa said yesterday that this seemed to be coming soon. A tough milestone in life to be sure … when our moms pass. I lost my mom 29 years ago this week. She was one of the kindest people I ever met. Hang onto the good memories 💕
Michael, what a beautiful tribute to your mother. Arlene clearly lived with a spirit that was as wise as it was warm, blending a sharp mind with a generous heart. The way you describe her—creative, unconstrained by convention, and always making sure people were fed, welcomed, and cared for—paints the picture of someone who didn’t just live well, but helped others live better. It’s clear she passed along not only her intellect and courage, but also her instinct to nurture and build community. Those values live on vividly in the way you lead, connect, and care for others. May her memory be a blessing—and an inspiration to all of us to show up a little more boldly, thoughtfully, and generously, just as she did.