Turning Negative Experiences into Positive Outcomes

Mistakes. Regret your candour with the boss? Made a poor and costly decision? Ignored a problem which now puts your credibility at risk? Everyone I know makes mistakes. The good news is some have profited from them. James Joyce says mistakes are the portals of discovery, and management literature contends that mistakes can lead to positive outcomes. In fact, the great Michael Jordan reminds us of how overcoming failures leads to success - “I have missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I have lost almost 300 games. On 26 occasions, I have been entrusted to take the game-winning shot, and I missed. I have failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.” Jordan's point is compelling, but it is not easy to accept. You can't succeed if you don't make mistakes sounds like a death sentence to many. So there is an IF - you can survive and even thrive from making mistakes if you own it, learn from it, and manage its consequences. So, how to respond when one makes a significant mistake? Many wish the mistake would be unnoticed, or let their fear obstruct sound judgment and timely decision-making. The key is to replace wishful thinking and fear with taking control of the situation. This can be achieved by O-I-C, a 3-step approach. 1. O-wn up. But tread carefully, especially if the company has a culture of blame-shifting. Importantly, pick your moment and find allies. And whatever you do, own up before your hand is forced. How do you own up? Present objectively and accurately why and how the mistake happened, take responsibility and make no excuses. Remember, the only thing worse than a person who made a big mistake is a person who made a big mistake, lacked the integrity to own up, and is stupid enough to get caught. 2. I-mprovement. Shift the focus from punishing people to improving processes so the same mistake will not happen again. Also articulate accurately the consequences of the mistake, recommend specific actions to minimise its impact, capitalise on unexpected opportunities, highlight lessons the mistake shows up and get permission to implement. 3. C-ompassion. Have compassion for yourself. Recognise that mistakes regularly happen when you innovate, strive for big wins and push boundaries. Importantly, you can learn from these experiences, share them with others and be better, wiser, and more resilient. This will help you when your next mistake happens. Whilst we can't make an omelette without breaking eggs, we can move from being the person who made the mistake to the person who thrives from it and has the gumption to make new ones. Agree?

Personal Story: Turning a Setback into a Future Opportunity Rejection can be a powerful motivator if approached with the right mindset. Rather than seeing a setback as the end of the road, it can be viewed as a valuable learning experience and an opportunity to demonstrate resilience and adaptability. My personal story illustrates how a proactive approach to feedback can turn a rejection into a new opportunity. My Last Mission: I once applied for a role in Afghanistan and, admittedly, didn’t prepare as thoroughly as I should have for the interview. When I received the rejection, it was clear that my lack of preparation was the reason. However, instead of letting the rejection discourage me, I sought feedback, approaching the feedback session as an opportunity to show my value and determination for future opportunities, if not for this role. During the conversation, I accepted their points and provided additional context where appropriate, essentially treating the feedback session as a second interview. Afterwards, I followed up with a thoughtful email, thanking them for the opportunity and wishing the successful applicants good luck in their new roles. A few weeks later, I received an unexpected call. One of the selected candidates had withdrawn, and because of my positive and proactive approach, I was offered the position. The rest, as they say, is history! “Rejection is not the end; it's an invitation to refine your approach, learn from the experience, and return stronger. Sometimes, the path to success is found in how you handle setbacks." This experience underscores the importance of resilience and the willingness to turn feedback into a learning opportunity. ·     When faced with rejection, take the initiative to seek constructive feedback. ·     Demonstrate full respect for their time and the feedback they’re offering. ·     Use it to refine your approach and demonstrate your ability to adapt and grow. ·     Follow up with a positive and thoughtful response, showing that you value the process and are still committed to contributing to the organisation. This proactive mindset leaves a lasting impression and can open doors that might have seemed closed.

Ever wondered why the bad memories seem to stick around longer than the good ones? Our brains are wired to remember negative experiences more vividly because of something called the "negativity bias." When we face a stressful or negative situation, our brains release hormones like cortisol, which enhance memory retention. It’s like the brain is red-flagging these moments for future reference, making sure we don’t forget them. But here’s the thing: While bad memories can feel like a burden, they don’t have to be. In fact, they can serve as valuable life lessons—if we know how to assess them. Speaking from personal experience as a divorced, single mother, I’ve had my fair share of challenging memories. But over time, I realized that instead of letting those moments define me, I could learn from them and use them to shape a better future. So, how do you turn bad memories into meaningful life experiences? Here are 5 questions to ask yourself: 1. What can I learn from this? 2. Every bad memory holds a lesson. What did that experience teach you? How has this shaped who I am today? 3. Reflect on how those moments have contributed to your personal growth. 4. Is there something I can change in my approach? 5. Sometimes, bad memories highlight patterns or behaviors we can improve. What’s the silver lining? Even in tough situations, there’s often a hidden positive—whether it’s newfound strength or a fresh perspective. Your story, no matter how difficult, could inspire or guide someone else in a similar situation. Bad memories aren’t just reminders of past pain—they’re opportunities for transformation. It’s all about how you choose to interpret them.

𝐍𝐞𝐠𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐨𝐨 We're often told to "look on the bright side" or "stay positive." But do you know embracing challenging emotions and difficult experiences can sometimes lead us to profound growth/realisation/breakthrough? Think about the last time you felt overwhelmed, anxious, or disheartened. Maybe it was a work project that went wrong, a relationship that ended, or a major life transition. We tend to avoid these emotions, seeking solace in positivity. But what if we embraced these challenging experiences and accepted them as part of our journey? Positive psychology research reveals that emotions like sadness, fear, and anxiety can coexist with positive growth outcomes. This coexistence is referred to as the "dialectics of emotions," highlighting how facing our adversity can plant seeds for resilience and transformation. Imagine a professional setback that initially seemed insurmountable. Perhaps you weren't selected for a project or promotion you desired. But over time, you used that moment to reassess your career goals, building new skills and creating better opportunities. This reflection allowed you to emerge stronger and more focused than before. In accepting both the light and dark sides of our emotions, we recognize that challenges are part of the human experience, not obstacles to avoid. By doing so, we find clarity and depth, helping us become better versions of ourselves. Positive psychology is not just about “positivity”. It’s way deeper than that. 𝐑𝐞𝐟𝐥𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐐𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬: ➡️ How do you currently approach challenging emotions, and what could embracing them teach you about yourself? Reference: Ivtzan, I., Lomas, T., Hefferon, K., & Worth, P. (2016). Second wave positive psychology: Embracing the dark side of life. Routledge. #positivepsychology #lifecoach #thepositivearena 𝘏𝘦𝘭𝘭𝘰, 𝘐’𝘮 𝘔𝘢𝘵𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘸. 𝘐 𝘴𝘱𝘦𝘤𝘪𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘴𝘦 𝘪𝘯 𝘶𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘦𝘷𝘪𝘥𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦-𝘣𝘢𝘴𝘦𝘥 𝘱𝘰𝘴𝘪𝘵𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘱𝘴𝘺𝘤𝘩𝘰𝘭𝘰𝘨𝘺 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘤𝘰𝘢𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘱𝘴𝘺𝘤𝘩𝘰𝘭𝘰𝘨𝘺 𝘵𝘰 𝘧𝘰𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘯𝘴𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘮𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘦𝘴 𝘪𝘯 𝘪𝘯𝘥𝘪𝘷𝘪𝘥𝘶𝘢𝘭𝘴, 𝘴𝘤𝘩𝘰𝘰𝘭𝘴, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘰𝘳𝘨𝘢𝘯𝘪𝘴𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴. 𝘐𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘦𝘯𝘫𝘰𝘺 𝘮𝘺 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘩𝘰𝘱𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘳𝘦𝘤𝘦𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘪𝘧𝘪𝘤𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴 𝘢𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘮𝘺 𝘭𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘓𝘪𝘯𝘬𝘦𝘥𝘐𝘯 𝘱𝘰𝘴𝘵𝘴, 𝘵𝘢𝘱 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘭𝘭 𝘪𝘤𝘰𝘯 🔔 𝘰𝘯 𝘮𝘺 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘧𝘪𝘭𝘦 𝘱𝘢𝘨𝘦.