How to build trust while being demanding

After 20 years of coaching, these 5 principles have stood the test of time. They’ve shaped how I lead, coach, and help athletes grow on and off the field. 1. Be Demanding, Not Demeaning Set high standards and expect excellence, but do it with respect. Athletes rise when they feel challenged, not belittled. Push them to their limits but always but always know when to back off. Criticism should build, not break. 2. Be Clear with Communication Clarity builds confidence. Speak with purpose, explain the why behind the what, and listen just as much as you speak. Athletes need to know where they’re going and why it matters. Confusion leads to hesitation and clear communication leads to action. 3. Be Consistent with Standards What you tolerate becomes the standard. Show up the same way every day. Focused, intentional, and reliable. Athletes don’t need perfection, but they do need predictability. Your consistency creates trust and sets the tone for the culture. 4. Be Adaptable to the athlete Every athlete is different mentally, physically, emotionally. What works for one might not work for another. Adjust your approach, your language, your methods without compromising your values. Adaptability isn’t weakness; it’s the ART of coaching. 5. Relationships Over Everything Before you’re a coach, you’re a person. Before they’re athletes, they’re people. Get to know them, what drives them, what they care about, what’s going on outside of their sport. Relationships are the foundation of real impact. Connection builds trust. And trust builds performance. When you lead with the heart, you earn the right to challenge their limits. Build a culture that succeeds and sustains.

Stand firm in your beliefs AND be willing to consider different perspectives. This is Assertiveness. When you are assertive, you state your needs and opinions without dismissing or belittling others. An assertive person is not aggressive. They are clear, honest, and respectful in their communication in all aspects of their life- personally and professionally. An assertive person doesn't back down from their values, but neither do they force their beliefs on others. Instead, they engage in a respectful dialogue where different viewpoints can coexist. To some, this might seem like a contradiction...but it's not. Not when you understand the role of listening. Listening plays a crucial role in resolving the apparent contradiction. When you genuinely listen to others, you show that you value their perspective, even if it differs from your own. This doesn’t mean you have to agree with them, but it does mean you acknowledge their right to their own beliefs. If you decide to go with your own beliefs instead of adopting the ideas of those around you, you won't damage your relationships as long as you demonstrate effectiveness assertiveness skills. Many of my leadership coaching clients choose to work on their assertiveness. It is important for them because assertiveness is strongly linked to trust and respect and a leader who is not trusted or respected cannot lead effectively. Trust is built when people see that you are consistent and fair in your communication. If you only push your agenda without considering others, you might be seen as aggressive or domineering. Conversely, if you never stand up for your beliefs, you might be perceived as weak or indecisive. Showing assertiveness with respect for others builds trust, showing that you are confident yet considerate. The first steps with my clients always involve working on self-awareness as it is the foundation of assertiveness (and emotional intelligence). It's difficult to be assertive if you don't know what you truly believe in and what you really need. It's also challenging if you not in touch with or in control of your emotions. For this reason, there are three actions I recommend starting with: ✴ Reflect on your emotions ✴ Understand your needs and values ✴ Recognize your triggers Moving on from this, we use a cycle of practice, reflection and feedback to develop over time. Assertiveness is a skill that CAN be fully developed with time and effort. While it's entirely possible to improve on your own, working with a coach can significantly accelerate your progress and effectiveness. Let me know if you need any help. Always happy to chat ☕ #assertiveness #personaldevelopment #professionaldevelopment #leadershipskills #communicationskills

𝗜𝗳 𝘆𝗼𝘂'𝗿𝗲 𝗹𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗮 𝘁𝗲𝗮𝗺, 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗯𝗲𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗻𝗲𝘅𝘁 𝟭:𝟭. I’ve managed dozens of teams. Across industries. Under pressure. With tight deadlines. Here’s one truth I’ve learned: 💬 𝘗𝘦𝘰𝘱𝘭𝘦 𝘥𝘰𝘯’𝘵 𝘣𝘶𝘳𝘯 𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘬. 𝘛𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘣𝘶𝘳𝘯 𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘣𝘦𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘴𝘦𝘦𝘯. So here’s how I lead — and what I’d want any of my team leads to practice too: 𝟱 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀 𝗜 𝗱𝗼 𝘁𝗼 𝗯𝘂𝗶𝗹𝗱 𝘁𝗿𝘂𝘀𝘁 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗹𝗼𝘀𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗮𝗰𝗰𝗼𝘂𝗻𝘁𝗮𝗯𝗶𝗹𝗶𝘁𝘆: 𝟭. 𝗗𝗼𝗻’𝘁 𝗮𝘀𝗸 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝘀𝘁𝗮𝘁𝘂𝘀. 𝗔𝘀𝗸 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗲𝗻𝗲𝗿𝗴𝘆. → “Where are we on the project?” is fine. But start with: “How are you doing with it?” You’ll catch overloads before they turn into resignations. 𝟮. 𝗦𝘁𝗼𝗽 𝗿𝗲𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗳𝗮𝗰𝗲 𝘁𝗶𝗺𝗲. 𝗦𝘁𝗮𝗿𝘁 𝗿𝗲𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗼𝘂𝘁𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗲𝘀. → If someone delivers in 30 hours what others do in 50, celebrate that — not who’s online longer. 𝟯. 𝗡𝗼𝗿𝗺𝗮𝗹𝗶𝘇𝗲 𝗯𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗸𝘀. → I say it out loud in meetings: “Yes, I took 30 minutes to decompress.” Because if I don’t model it, no one will feel safe doing it. 𝟰. 𝗥𝗲𝘀𝗽𝗲𝗰𝘁 𝘀𝗶𝗹𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲. → No reply to your message at 7:45 p.m.? That’s a sign of a healthy boundary. Not a red flag. 𝟱. 𝗗𝗿𝗼𝗽 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗴𝘂𝗶𝗹𝘁 𝗰𝘂𝗹𝘁𝘂𝗿𝗲. → I never ask people to explain personal situations. Time off is time off. Life happens. We’re adults. It’s not soft. It’s not naive. It’s how high-performing, sustainable teams work. 👣 Want to show up better as a leader this week? Try this: ✅ In your next 1:1, ask: “𝘐𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘺𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘪𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘴𝘦𝘵𝘶𝘱 𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘦𝘴 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘬 𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘥𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘯 𝘪𝘵 𝘯𝘦𝘦𝘥𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘦?” Then shut up and listen. ♻️ Repost to help more leaders show up like this — not like micromanagers. 💾 Save this post for your next team reflection or feedback round. ➕ And follow Markus Kopko ✨ for more.

2 ways to ask your team to be overachievers in a world where checking the boxes and quota underachievement is the norm. If you want your reps to strive for more than “just enough,” you have to earn the right to ask for their best. Here’s how: 1. Trade activity policing for outcome-based coaching The fastest way to make a good rep disengage? Harp on metrics but not results. Reps aren’t motivated by being told to “do more.” They’re motivated by doing better and knowing why it matters. Coaching toward outcomes means shifting from, ❌ “Make 75 calls a day.” ✅ “Let’s figure out how to increase your call-to-convo rate so those 75 calls actually generate pipeline.” Start by auditing outcomes at the rep level. Once you know what’s working (and what's not), coach 1:1. When reps know you're there to help them win smarter, not just grind harder, they start thinking like professionals, not order-takers. 2. Build trust before you challenge. People don't like to work for a**holes, even if they do "get the job done." Very early in my leadership career, I would literally call myself an "iron fist, velvet glove" leader. I thought I was nailing it. Deals closed. Quotas were hit. Bosses were happy. But underneath the surface, trust was eroding. I have seen so many Sales Managers fall into this same trap. They bark orders and expect the team to follow because they're the boss and that's what their reps are getting bad for - right? Wrong. If you want a team of overachievers in a world where checking the boxes and quota underachievement is the norm - they need to want to work for you and be excited about the work they're doing. 📌 What’s one thing you’ve done that helped a rep go from average to overachiever?