Leveraging Negotiation Styles

Negotiation success: Think smarter, not argue harder. How to use De Bono’s Six Thinking Hats. In my 30 years as a negotiation consultant, Edward de Bono’s Six Thinking Hats combined with state-of-the-art Negotiation principles have often been the difference between success and failure. Especially in extremely challenging negotiations. These thinking styles unlock clarity, creativity, and stronger relationships, even in situations that initially seemed hopeless. Edward de Bono’s Six Hats represent distinct thinking styles crucial for effective negotiation: → White Hat: Facts and objective information. → Red Hat: Emotions and intuition. → Black Hat: Risks and critical judgment. → Yellow Hat: Optimism and positive outcomes. → Green Hat: Creativity and innovative solutions. → Blue Hat: Process control and management. Here’s how I’ve effectively applied these hats in difficult negotiations: 1️⃣ Focus on Interests, Not Positions → White & Red Hats • Clarify underlying facts and interests objectively (White Hat). • Empathize with emotional motivations behind positions (Red Hat). e.g., Employees demand permanent remote work; management wants office return. Objective questioning (White Hat) reveals productivity metrics and workspace usage. Empathy (Red Hat) uncovers emotional interests like flexibility and family time, leading to a hybrid solution. 2️⃣ Invent Options for Mutual Gain → Green & Yellow Hats • Generate creative solutions (Green) highlighting mutual benefits (Yellow). e.g., Companies negotiating resource sharing creatively design a joint venture benefiting both economically. 3️⃣ Use Objective Criteria → White Hat • Anchor negotiations in data-driven benchmarks and unbiased facts. e.g., Parties reference market standards and independent appraisals in lease negotiations, agreeing on fair terms. 4️⃣ Prepare Your BATNA → Black Hat • Critically assess risks, alternatives, and consequences of no agreement. e.g., A buyer evaluates alternative suppliers’ costs and reliability, clearly identifying the best fallback option. 5️⃣ Build Relationships → Red Hat • Recognize and address emotional aspects to build trust. e.g., In heated negotiations, acknowledging frustration and validating concerns reduces tension significantly. 6️⃣ Separate People from the Problem → Blue Hat • Objectively manage the negotiation process to minimize personal conflicts. e.g., A good negotiator sets clear agendas prioritizing shared goals, preventing personal grievances from derailing talks. Next time you’re stuck, pause and ask, “Which hat am I wearing?” Switching hats can open unseen doors.

Conflict is inevitable. How we manage it is both an art and a science. In my work with executives, I often discuss Thomas Kilmann's five types of conflict managers: (1) The Competitor – Focuses on winning, sometimes forgetting there’s another human on the other side. (2) The Avoider – Pretends conflict doesn’t exist, hoping it disappears (spoiler: it doesn’t). (3) The Compromiser – Splits the difference, often leaving both sides feeling like nobody really wins. (4) The Accommodator – Prioritizes relationships over their own needs, sometimes at their own expense. (5) The Collaborator – Works hard to find a win-win, but it takes effort. The style we use during conflict depends on how we manage the tension between empathy and assertiveness. (a) Assertiveness: The ability to express your needs, boundaries, and interests clearly and confidently. It’s standing your ground—without steamrolling others. Competitors do this naturally, sometimes too much. Avoiders and accommodators? Not so much. (b) Empathy: The ability to recognize and consider the other person’s perspective, emotions, and needs. It’s stepping into their shoes before taking a step forward. Accommodators thrive here, sometimes at their own expense. Competitors? They might need a reminder that the other side has feelings too. Balancing both is the key to successful negotiation. Here’s how: - Know your default mode. Are you more likely to fight, flee, or fold? Self-awareness is step one. - Swap 'but' for 'and' – “I hear your concerns, and I’d like to explore a solution that works for both of us.” This keeps both voices in the conversation. - Be clear, not combative. Assertiveness isn’t aggression; it’s clarity. Replace “You’re wrong” with “I see it differently—here’s why.” - Make space for emotions. Negotiations aren’t just about logic. Acknowledge emotions (yours and theirs) so they don’t hijack the conversation. - Negotiate the process, not just the outcome. If you’re dealing with a competitor, set ground rules upfront. If it’s an avoider, create a low-stakes way to engage. Great negotiators don’t just stick to their natural style—they adapt. Which conflict style do you tend to default to? And how do you balance empathy with assertiveness? #ConflictResolution #Negotiation #Leadership #Empathy #Assertiveness #Leadership #DecisionMaking

Most people crack under pressure in negotiations.   They either:     - Panic and concede.   - Get defensive and lose leverage.   - Over-explain and sound desperate.     All three are mistakes.     Because negotiation isn’t just about what you say.     It’s about how you hold yourself when the stakes are high.     1. Control beats reaction.   The second you lose composure, you lose power.     Instead, stay measured.   Pause.   Let silence do the work.     When I was hit with a pushback, I didn’t flinch.     I simply asked:     "Is it just the cost, or is there a timeline we’re working against?"   That one question reframed the entire conversation.     It wasn’t just about price. It was about urgency.     Lesson: Clarify the real problem before you solve the wrong one.   2. Add value—without overpromising.   The best negotiators don’t just “give in.”   They reposition the deal.     I didn’t lower my fee.   I structured value differently.     "Let’s optimize costs next quarter."   Now I’m not backing down. I’m thinking ahead.     And that positions me as a strategic partner, not a vendor.     Lesson: A great deal isn’t about cutting. It’s about crafting.    3. Stand firm—but with confidence, not ego.   When they questioned the outcome, I didn’t defend myself.     I said:     "It will. Or I’ll adjust my fee to make it right."   That line?     It signals confidence without arrogance.     It tells them:   I believe in my value, and I back it up.     Lesson: The strongest negotiators don’t justify. They stand by their worth.     4. The best deals don’t end with a contract. They end with trust.   At the close, I didn’t just shake hands. I set the foundation:     "This isn’t just a deal. It’s trust."*     Because the best negotiators don’t just win transactions.     They win long-term credibility.     If you’re leading deals, running teams, or making high-stakes decisions...this is your edge.   Master this, and you won’t just close deals.   You’ll build lasting influence.     If you crack easily under pressure during a negotiation, this is your sign.   Let's talk.   ------------- Hi, I’m Scott Harrison and I help executive and leaders master negotiation & communication in high-pressure, high-stakes situations. - ICF Coach and EQ-i Practitioner - 24 yrs | 19 countries | 150+ clients  - Negotiation | Conflict resolution | Closing deals 📩 DM me or book a discovery call (link in the Featured section)

One of the most valuable skills I’ve learned over the years isn’t how to “win” a negotiation, it’s how to create more value from it. Because in high-stakes negotiations, the real risk isn’t losing the deal. It’s settling for the wrong one or leaving value on the table because you didn’t ask for enough. Dr. Victoria Husted Medvec at Kellogg offers a framework I’ve found incredibly useful. Her approach to negotiation goes beyond tactics — it’s about shaping outcomes that create value on both sides. A few of her core principles that have stuck with me: - Know your true objectives. Not just price — but business value, differentiation, and long-term relationship impact. - Don’t get stuck on a single issue. Bring multiple variables to the table so you can trade, not just concede. - Set the tone and direction of the negotiation. Understanding the other side’s BATNA (Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement, a backup plan) gives you leverage and clarity. - Offer multiple equivalent proposals. Presenting three strong options reveals their priorities while keeping you in control. - Lead the conversation in their language. Frame your proposal as a solution to their problems — not just your ask. Negotiation is rarely just about facts and numbers. It’s about psychology, timing, and trust. In my experience, the best negotiators aren’t the ones who “win” at the other’s expense. They’re the ones who walk away having built a relationship — and expanded the pie. What’s the most effective negotiation strategy you’ve ever used or seen in action?

How to Negotiate Like a Patel: An 8-Step Guide I grew up watching my uncles negotiate for everything — TVs, toasters, hotel furniture. It wasn’t a tactic. It was a lifestyle. It’s in the DNA. Here’s how it works: 1. Start low. Really low. I’d send 50 real estate offers a week at 50% of asking. Most ignored me. The few who responded, I’d close 25–30% under. I’d offer all cash, 10-day close, no contingencies. If the seller pushed back? I could always add terms — financing, longer close — if we had to bump up the price. 2. Build a case for your number. You can’t just throw out a low number and walk away. Show your math — why it’s not worth full price, what work’s needed, what you can actually pay. People might not agree, but they’ll respect honesty. 3. Anchor high with a reasoned ask. There’s leverage in what you ask for. Once, when I renegotiated my apartment lease, I came in with a detailed list: outdated appliances, worn carpet, paint that needed refreshing — even common area upgrades. And I didn’t stop there — I asked for all the repairs, the same rent, and a free month. They came back with: “We’ll do some of the repairs, keep the rent the same, but no free rent.” Perfect. That’s exactly where I wanted to land. If you only ask for what you want, you’ll probably end up with less. Ask for more (with a reason), and you’ll land where you actually wanted. 4. Be empathetic. People don’t want to negotiate with robots. If someone’s showing you property in 90° heat: “Man, you’ve gotta be dying out here — appreciate you doing this.” Little stuff like that builds trust faster than any spreadsheet. 5. Give yourself leverage. Options = power. I renovated my condo once, and I sourced all the materials myself. Found vendors with the best rep. Got quotes online. Then had the top vendor price match the lowest offer. Saved thousands just by putting in the effort. 6. Leverage in zero. Sometimes your biggest leverage is having nothing — and working your way up. “Hey, I know you want $100 for this, but I only have $50.” When that’s real — and you can explain why — it shifts the dynamic. It’s not pretending to be broke. It’s showing that this deal matters enough for you to stretch nothing to make it happen. 7. You can negotiate almost anything…. One time, just to prove a point, I asked for a discount at Starbucks. The cashier knocked off 10%. No coupon. No trick. Just asked. Negotiation isn’t a move — it’s a mindset. Ask. Worst case, they say no. Best case? You get the deal. 8. BUT, know when NOT to negotiate. Don’t be cheap with people. I once lowballed a painter. Got the worst job of my life. Had to redo it myself. Now? I pay good people well. It builds trust — and I get better results. You walk away with a Porsche and 75% of the furniture. (Yes — true story. More on that later.) What’s your best negotiation tactic? #Negotiation #BuyerLed #FounderLife #DealMaking

Your biggest life advantage isn't your degree. It's knowing how to negotiate.   Most people think negotiation only happens in boardrooms. But you're negotiating every single day.   Getting your kids to bed on time. Convincing your partner where to go for dinner. Persuading your landlord to fix the heating. Talking your way out of a parking ticket. Getting a better price at the market.   Watching senior partners at my old law firm taught me something unexpected. The ones who got what they wanted weren't the loudest or most aggressive. They were the ones who understood human psychology.   🧠 They knew how people actually make decisions. 💓 How emotions drive choices more than logic. ⌛ How timing changes everything.   Now as a business founder, I use those same principles daily. With suppliers, clients, and my team.   Here are 7 techniques that work in real life:   1️⃣ Time conversations strategically ↳ Good moods make people more agreeable ↳ Never have serious talks when someone's hungry, tired, or rushing   2️⃣ Start with their concerns first ↳ Lead with what bothers them, not what you want ↳ "I know you're stressed about money, could we figure out a payment plan?"   3️⃣ Be specific, not vague ↳ Exact numbers and times sound more serious ↳ "Can you call me back by 2pm tomorrow" not "call me back soon"   4️⃣ Find something you both agree on ↳ Start with shared goals before discussing problems ↳ "We both want this to work out fairly for everyone"   5️⃣ Ask questions instead of making demands ↳ Questions get better responses than commands ↳ "What would make this work for you?" beats "You need to do this"   6️⃣ Give them options, not ultimatums ↳ People hate feeling trapped or forced ↳ Choice makes them feel in control even when you set the boundaries   7️⃣ Use silence to your advantage ↳ Stop talking after making your request ↳ People feel compelled to fill uncomfortable quiet with responses   Learning this changed how I handle every conversation.   When you understand the psychology behind decisions, everything becomes easier.   What negotiation technique has worked best for you? Let me know in the comments.   ♻️ Repost to help someone negotiate better 👉 Follow Lauren Murrell for more like this

👀 To really earn the big bucks, you have to go hard for yourself…here’s how: When you’re negotiating a job offer or really any business deal, the goal isn’t to push for a win—it’s to lead both sides to a place of true value. Recently, I was at the table for a partnership that had strong potential, but the initial terms needed work to reflect the impact we could create together. Using Chris Voss’s approach, which I have for years, I leaned on tactical empathy and calibrated questions to guide the discussion. Here’s how I approached it: 1️⃣ Listen First – Before diving in, I focused on their perspective: understanding their goals and key motivations. I asked open-ended questions to let them share more, which shifted the conversation from a back-and-forth to a shared exploration. 2️⃣ Label and Mirror – “It sounds like your main focus is driving X result,” I’d say, or, “It seems you’re looking for a partner who can support Y.” This approach validated their perspective, while quietly setting the stage for my request. 3️⃣ Ask Calibrated Questions – Instead of simply countering, I asked, “How can we structure this partnership so it reflects the impact we’re aiming to achieve?” Calibrated questions like this avoid ultimatums, turning the ask into a constructive, solution-focused conversation. 4️⃣ Strategic Pause – After my ask, I paused. Silence can be as powerful as words—it gives space for real consideration. In this case, they filled the silence by rethinking their terms on their own. 5️⃣ The “No”-Oriented Question – Finally, I asked, “Would it be unreasonable to explore terms that better reflect our shared goals?” Framing it with a “No” made it easier for them to agree without feeling pressured, shifting the negotiation into a mutual alignment. The result? A more favorable deal for both of us, rooted in mutual respect and clear value. Whether you’re negotiating a business deal or a job offer, the Chris Voss approach reminds us that effective negotiation is about empathy, strategy, and finding alignment. #negotiation #deals #sales #corporatetips #joboffer