How to Develop a Competitive Negotiation Mindset

When I'm negotiating, I tend to AGREE with the other side. Sounds counter-intuitive. But it's enabled me to close 7-figure settlements. Most lawyers think negotiations are about being tough, standing your ground, and not giving an inch. I take the opposite approach: tactical empathy. Here's how it works. When opposing counsel says something like, "That's a ridiculous settlement demand. We can never possibly pay that much," I don't fight back. Instead, I validate them: "I can see why you would say that. I'm sorry for that. What can I do to come up with an offer that makes sense for you? My client is unfortunately stuck here." Their reaction? Complete confusion. They're prepared for a fight. They've got their counterarguments lined up. But when I validate their feelings instead, their entire script falls apart. The best part? They start giving me information I can use to negotiate against them. When faced with validation instead of opposition, lawyers suddenly start explaining their real constraints, their client's actual position, and sometimes even what number they might actually be able to get approved. All because I didn't argue. I've found this approach works especially well on lawyers because they don't even know what's happening. They're so used to adversarial negotiations that genuine validation short-circuits their usual approach. The key elements: • Validate their emotions • Acknowledge their position • Ask questions instead of making demands • Keep validating even when they try to be difficult This isn't just about being nice – it's strategic. By removing the confrontation, you force them to either engage constructively or look unreasonable. Next time you're in a difficult negotiation, try validation instead of opposition. It feels counterintuitive, but the results speak for themselves. After all, the goal isn't to win the argument – it's to get what your client needs.

I sold three companies before I turned 36, and they were all VERY intense negotiations. These are the 6 rules of negotiation that I wish I had known from day 1: 1/ Establish a Mission & Purpose This is your guiding light throughout the entire negotiation process. Do this by establishing a mutual goal with the other party that you can both return to again and again. Remind each other why you’re pursuing the negotiation in THEIR world. This is key because it helps the other party understand that everything you negotiate after that helps them achieve *their* goal. 2/ Understand Motivations Before you even begin an engagement, you need to understand the other party’s motivations. This is NOT the time to make assumptions because that will fast-track you to a loss. Listen intently as you get to know them, and really seek an understanding of their motivations. 3/ Drive to a Decision My negotiation motto is that every engagement should drive to a decision. Don’t bother with needless check-ins and updates. Instead... Stay focused on one decision at a time. That single clear objective cuts through the noise and narrows your attention. When your eyes are on the prize, nothing can distract you. 4/ Be Prepared Come to the table as prepared as you can with scripts, key points, and stakeholder motivations to guide you. Yes, scripts are actually amazingly helpful. Being prepared gives you direction, confidence, and the ability to anticipate and adjust.. fast. 5/ Don’t Bluff. It’s tempting! I get it. Especially when the other party is dragging their feet. But the moment you give a false deadline or ultimatum, and the other party calls your bluff… you’ve lost all credibility. There are ways to push action with bluffing: “It’s important you know if we don’t do ___ by ___ date, our mutual goal will be put at risk." This doesn’t have any hard bluff, but does give directional accuracy. 6/ No Isn’t the End I love hearing ‘no’ during a negotiation because I know that the negotiation isn’t over yet. Far from it: It means there’s an opportunity for further understanding. If you hear “no,” ask this: “What led you to come to this answer? What parts made sense and what didn’t?" Same goes for you - if you say “no” it doesn’t mean the negotiation is over. Say no, keep standing at the table, and ask “How would you like to proceed?” These rules aren’t just relevant to M&A negotiations, but they’re also effective tactics for most negotiation scenarios and even B2B sales. ––– I've shared my best negotiation tactics; now it's your turn – what are some tactics you use?

Negotiations don’t go wrong—they start wrong. Through my experience, I can often tell within the first 30 minutes whether a negotiation will take a collaborative or positional direction. The early signals—the tone, structure, and mindset of the parties—set the course for either value creation or value extraction. Too often, negotiations begin with adversarial positioning, where each side stakes out demands, focuses on "winning," and sees concessions as the primary path to agreement. This zero-sum mentality is where most negotiations start wrong. The problem isn’t what happens later—it’s how we approach the process from the outset. Do you negotiate how to negotiate before you start negotiating? This is a game-changer. Before discussing numbers or terms, set the stage for success. Consider opening with: "I am here today to help you reduce your risk, cost, and liabilities while improving your profits. Would you be interested in having me assist you with this?" This shifts the conversation from position-based bargaining to problem-solving and mutual value creation. SMARTnership® negotiation flips the traditional approach. Instead of defaulting to competitive bargaining, it starts by identifying asymmetric values, trust currency, and hidden gains that can turn the negotiation into a collaborative value-maximizing process. The real difference lies in: ✔ Mindset: Are we here to protect our own turf or explore mutual benefit?  ✔ Communication: Is the focus on claiming or creating value?  ✔ Trust: Is there openness to share real needs, costs, and priorities? If the first 30 minutes are spent staking positions, debating individual gains, or withholding critical information, the negotiation is already off track. But if we establish transparency, mutual benefit, and creative problem-solving early on, we unlock the hidden potential of the deal. Next time you step into a negotiation, ask yourself: Are we starting right? #Negotiation #SMARTnership #ValueCreation #TrustCurrency Tarek Amine Tine Anneberg Francis Goh, FSIArb, FCIArb Francisco Cosme Gražvydas Jukna Juan Manuel García P. Darryl Legault World Commerce & Contracting BMI Executive Institute #negotiationtraining Daniel McLuskie